Far, Far Better Things

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."

This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite quotes ever. And it is one that has been on my mind lately, as I pack for camp and prepare for college and move closer to my graduation. 

This semester was long and difficult. Much more so than I expected. As it turns out the real world, even if that just means DMACC and a new job, is sometimes uncomfortable and scary. I can only imagine Iowa….and beyond. This semester I was forced to accept that only real friends will make an effort after high school (even if you still live in town). I confronted classes on my own, long days at a job I didn't like very much, and sometimes feeling left out of my friends's lives. My CNA class was difficult and I was very, very busy.

I know it was good, though. I can picture myself in high school right now and can guaruntee that I would be an unhappy camper. Because of my semester out I'm able to come back around to see that high school has blessed me in more ways than I thought, and to appreciate graduation. Sometimes you just need a step back to see the big picture.

High school was not as bad as I thought it was. I am glad to move on and out. But I now see that I was lucky to go to a school that allowed me to say that my senior year marks the tenth year of some friendships. I can see that our small speech team made a place for me and contributed to much of the confidence I now have. I can see that my life would not be the same without band, and I'm so glad I stuck with it all these years. I can see that the  ceremony will be a great way to close the doors and really step out of high school fully.

Although I can now appreciate it more, I will not miss high school.

I can honestly say that I've probably grown just as much or more this semester as I did in high school. It's easy to get comfortable, especially at a small school like Bondurant. It's not until you step out of the protection of people you've known for years, activities you love, and and enviroment you know like your own house, that you realize how warm and cozy it all really was. And when you get comfortable you stop growing and changing.

No matter where you are going next year or what you are doing, as close as DMACC or as far as across the country it will be uncomfortable. It will classes of strangers, buildings you've never been in, and extracurricular programs you're unfamiliar with. It'll be scary.

But it is also a door to a whole new chapter of our lives.

And I cannot wait.

This semester, in all my uncomfortableness, I learned a whole lot about fear and running to God with my whole self. I have been forced to trust God with this semester, and that trust will continue to be enforced as I enter a strange place called Camp Barnabas and an even stranger place called the University of Iowa. As I apply for my program and am forced to wait for that acceptance or rejection to direct my future, as a drive to Missouri on Wednesday, and as I move into my dorm in August, in all these things and thousands more, I will trust my faithful God.

I am so grateful for my God in times like these. I know that the passion He has given me for children will be used, even if it's not in ways I expect. I know that He has great plans for me, I am a work in progress, but I am HIS work. I know that He knows my future and it is safe in His hands. I know that He is with me. I know that, above all, He loves me, no matter what.

It is exciting to me to look back on high school. It's been some good times. From my first football game, to my first speech competition. From not wanting to mime to being a spontaneous speaker. From flute to piccolo, and to my first job. From long nights of homework, to movies and bonfires with friends. Sometimes its been hard, but I can look back onto so many good friends and memories, that I'm glad to have had.

However, when I walk across that stage I will be holding the hand of my Father and looking forward. Looking forward to taking Introduction to Play Therapy, which just sounds so wonderful, and to finding a new church in Iowa City. Looking forward to new friends and a place to start over. To joining clubs and trying new things. To living on my own and figuring out my future. Looking forward to the rest of my life, and to all God has planned for me.

I'm so thankful this semester wasn't what I expected, because it turns out I can now look back on high school in brighter light, but look forward to my future with a wide open door.

Yes, there are far, far better things ahead, and I can not wait to see what they are.