Be Thou My Vision

I have recently fallen in love with "Be Thou My Vision." Now, I'm not a big hymn person and of course this one is a classic. But I suppose I've never really listened to it before. The version I like is this one, by Ascend the Hill:

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise,

Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:

Thou and Thou only, put first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight

Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied

Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight

Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied

My Jesus, you satisfy

My Jesus, you satisfy

High King of Heaven, my victory won,

May I reach Heaven's joys, bright Heaven's Sun!

Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,

Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Oh, God, be my everything, be my delight

Be, Jesus, my glory My soul's satisfied

Be thou my vision. What am I asking God to do if I sing this to Him? It halted me for a while, and I wondered what it really meant. I think, however, that I'm starting to understand. How we see the world can change our lives dramatically. In asking God to be my vision I'm asking to see the world through Him. I want to see people as He does, in love. I want to not see the world as my home, yet I want to be able to see God's beauty and purpose in everything.

When I actually stop to think about what I'm singing when I say this song I realize how beautiful it is, and how big it is. It sings of making God all that I need; my treasure, my wisdom, my light....it is a strong plea, full of truth.

Matthew 5:6- Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Isaiah 58:11- And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

Psalm 107:9- For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

The Bible tells us over and over again that God is all we need to satisfy. He is abundent with peace and joy and mercy and grace and love. We as humans long for these things, and attempt to fill them with sin or the world, but it never works out quite right. I very much appreciate that the song addresses what we do NOT need in two lines. "I heed not riches, or man's empty praise." I think this generalizes most of what we try to fill the gap with. Riches could be money, but to me they are also anything within the world, even the riches of knowledge or popularity or success. And trying to please others and impress the world leads to "man's empty praise." This may be simply focusing on pleasing others, forgetting about the one we should care about pleasing, which can happen in thousands of different ways. However the song is right in describing it as empty, because it means nothing in the end, as if we are trying to please everyone, we will always fail somehow. We cannot please everyone. We do not need riches or man's praise to be content.

We will not be content until we accept Christ and take a place as His child. Even then we may find ourselves feeling empty or unsatisfied, broken down by the world. It is then that I'm learning we have to run to God. 

Sometimes I like to take a different route that I think leads to God. I think that if I run to my Christian friends, or a Bible study, or even a service, I will be fine. While these things are good and useful, they are not God. They may help me understand Him better, but they are NOT God. The fact is, that even if I was totally without these things, God would still have the power to satisfy my every need and want. 

I like this version because of the added lines.

God, be my everything, be my delight.

This line has been in my head for a couple weeks now. Seven words that have so much power. What would life be like if I made this my daily prayer and attempted to deliberatly live it out? God, be my EVERYTHING. Be my joy, strength, love, peace, best friend, comfort place, purpose, father, treasure, light, vision.....just to name a few. But they sum all that up again, with the word delight. 

The dictionary tells me that delight is "something that makes you very happy : something that gives you great pleasure or satisfaction." I'd say that's perfect. God ought to be the one thing that can give us immeasurable joy, unending happiness, and daily satisfaction. 

I'm learning daily that nothing on this earth will satisfy me. Not work or classes or friends or even future plans. Every time I listen to this song my heart cries more. Oh, God let me find satisfaction in only You. Let me find joy only in You. Let me find peace and strength and love only in you.

Let me find everything.

Be my everything.

Be my delight.

Shadows

What is an idol? Anything that distracts from or gets put before God. 

Everything.

From Netflix to my future to sleeping in for 10 more minutes, my life is stacked full of things that I put before my Savior daily. My own needs and wants, even other's needs and wants, often come before God's wants from me. I often plan and then pray, not pray for the plan. I think that I have time for Jesus all the time, but this movie is on now, or they want to go to dinner now, or this paper is due now, when in fact it is those things can wait.

I daily chase shadows, shadows that will disappear in an instant, and that will never satisfy if I catch up.

I once tried to explain the wonder of the gospel to my campers by asking what they would do if their best friend lied to them. They would probably forgive her the first time, right? Everyone makes mistakes. What if she did it again? What if she did it 3 times? What if she lied and then said something mean about you? What if she ditched you for someone else, as well? Eventually we would get sick of it, right? We would stop forgiving her. She clearly isn't going to change. She doesn't deserve our friendship. 

I believe that we hurt God daily. I think that every single day, often many more times than once, we step over that line, we fail Him. We sin. Every....single....day. 

And yet He forgives us. He gives us a way out. He has decided that His LOVE overpowers anything we have done or will do. He has forgiven us for future sins. That's unimaginable. Forgiving someone, before they hurt you? We would never do that. But He already has.

And I still often decide that one more episode is time better spent than praying. I still often decide that one more lie won't hurt. We still do it, everyday.

What love.

I am continuing to identify the shadows I chase, and while I know I will always be chasing something, I hope that as I identify what's hurting my walk, I can turn away from the shadows and I can chase after the light. 

Called Me Higher

I'm currently obsessed with this song. It's words speak exactly what I'm feeling right now. I'm so excited for all that is to come, this summer, in the fall. There are great things coming. But the fact is that I'm here, now. And one of the biggest problems I have is just sitting and waiting. Waiting for God to change me, waiting for things to happen, waiting to do His work. But that is not what I am meant to do. None of us are meant to do that. We are called to jump, to be active, and to draw near to God as He draws near to us.

The song ends singing "I will be Yours, oh I will be Yours for all my life." No matter what we do or where we go, our God does not change. No matter how many times I fall I know my God is holding me. No matter how much fear and how little faith I have I know my God can work. But I can't just sit here. I can't do nothing. I can't "wait for all Your goodness."

I'm not sure how to describe what God has been teaching me lately. It is now March and generally this is the time of year that it's bad. Somehow the last few years I always fall apart around Christmas, and it usually lasts until about spring break. But right now I'm in a good place. 

Hebrews 10:39- But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are 

destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

I read this the other day and I loved it. Everyday I find something new about my identity. When I say "I am His" it carries so much weight. When I say that I am saying I am loved, forgiven, alive. I'm saying that I am not alone. I'm saying that I am fearless, carried, and heard. And this verse says I am not destroyed, and I am saved. This song says that I am called higher and deeper through His mercy. 

As much as I've learned about who I am in Christ over the last couple years, I have not clung to it as much as I have this semester. No matter how alone or left out I feel it's okay because His love completes me. No matter how much I mess up it's okay because I am forgiven in Him. No matter how scared I am it's okay because I am not alone. It's only these things that matter in the end, and that is a truth that will never falter.

We are called higher and deeper. To do what? To love. To run after Jesus. To be still and hear God. To be vulnerable. To be scared. To follow wherever He leads us. To be uncomfortable. We are called to pick up our cross daily, to come to Him daily, and to let us lead Him daily. Following Christ is not a 4th grade prayer. It is a daily, or sometimes hourly, or step by step choice, that we have to constantly hand over. 

I am so quick to grab the wheel, without even thinking, and assume that I know better. I know what I'm doing. I know where I'm going. I know what my life will be. I know, I know, I can do it,  I can do it. But I can't.

 I....we....are so useless and lost without God. Sometimes we don't even know how lost we are until suddenly it's all out of control and nothing is right anymore. 

James 4:8a- Come near to God and he will come near to you.

I love that verse because it describes so simply what God wants of us. God is not asking us to come perfected and ready to go. He is not asking us to figure it all out. He's simply asking us to try. He's saying that if we come to Him, walking, running, or crawling, He will pick us up and lead us. He will love us. The verse does not say "Come near when you have it all together." It does not say "Walk the path alone." No. It says that if we come He will meet us, broken pieces and all. 

I don't know where I am right now. I don't have it all figured out, even if it feels like I do. I am full of fear, and I will fail. I will wander. I will fall down. But God is there to pick me up. To catch me. He is waiting and He is with me, always.

I am called higher and deeper. Lead me where I am to go, Lord.