Called Me Higher

I'm currently obsessed with this song. It's words speak exactly what I'm feeling right now. I'm so excited for all that is to come, this summer, in the fall. There are great things coming. But the fact is that I'm here, now. And one of the biggest problems I have is just sitting and waiting. Waiting for God to change me, waiting for things to happen, waiting to do His work. But that is not what I am meant to do. None of us are meant to do that. We are called to jump, to be active, and to draw near to God as He draws near to us.

The song ends singing "I will be Yours, oh I will be Yours for all my life." No matter what we do or where we go, our God does not change. No matter how many times I fall I know my God is holding me. No matter how much fear and how little faith I have I know my God can work. But I can't just sit here. I can't do nothing. I can't "wait for all Your goodness."

I'm not sure how to describe what God has been teaching me lately. It is now March and generally this is the time of year that it's bad. Somehow the last few years I always fall apart around Christmas, and it usually lasts until about spring break. But right now I'm in a good place. 

Hebrews 10:39- But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are 

destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.

I read this the other day and I loved it. Everyday I find something new about my identity. When I say "I am His" it carries so much weight. When I say that I am saying I am loved, forgiven, alive. I'm saying that I am not alone. I'm saying that I am fearless, carried, and heard. And this verse says I am not destroyed, and I am saved. This song says that I am called higher and deeper through His mercy. 

As much as I've learned about who I am in Christ over the last couple years, I have not clung to it as much as I have this semester. No matter how alone or left out I feel it's okay because His love completes me. No matter how much I mess up it's okay because I am forgiven in Him. No matter how scared I am it's okay because I am not alone. It's only these things that matter in the end, and that is a truth that will never falter.

We are called higher and deeper. To do what? To love. To run after Jesus. To be still and hear God. To be vulnerable. To be scared. To follow wherever He leads us. To be uncomfortable. We are called to pick up our cross daily, to come to Him daily, and to let us lead Him daily. Following Christ is not a 4th grade prayer. It is a daily, or sometimes hourly, or step by step choice, that we have to constantly hand over. 

I am so quick to grab the wheel, without even thinking, and assume that I know better. I know what I'm doing. I know where I'm going. I know what my life will be. I know, I know, I can do it,  I can do it. But I can't.

 I....we....are so useless and lost without God. Sometimes we don't even know how lost we are until suddenly it's all out of control and nothing is right anymore. 

James 4:8a- Come near to God and he will come near to you.

I love that verse because it describes so simply what God wants of us. God is not asking us to come perfected and ready to go. He is not asking us to figure it all out. He's simply asking us to try. He's saying that if we come to Him, walking, running, or crawling, He will pick us up and lead us. He will love us. The verse does not say "Come near when you have it all together." It does not say "Walk the path alone." No. It says that if we come He will meet us, broken pieces and all. 

I don't know where I am right now. I don't have it all figured out, even if it feels like I do. I am full of fear, and I will fail. I will wander. I will fall down. But God is there to pick me up. To catch me. He is waiting and He is with me, always.

I am called higher and deeper. Lead me where I am to go, Lord.